My Rose Colored View of this World

lies

2012-01-20T13:16:00.000+09:00

It makes me so sad when I find out my friends have lied to me. Especially about things that wouldn't have any affect on our relationship in the first place. Lying about petty things that are big enough to matter, when I would have accepted the truth... it's stupid.

What kind of friendship can they hope to have, if they base it on lies?

*hmpf*

true to myself

2012-01-13T17:47:00.001+09:00

I finally figured out the balance to make myself happy, to do what I want... and I don't quite know how to add another permanent fixture into my life and maintain that balance. I don't know how to be true to myself AND another person simultaneously.

It's been just over 4 years since my husband left me. But I'm still trying to figure out this whole partnering-up thing. I still have no desire to remarry. Even when I had that lovely romance with my Swedish rebound. Once bitten, twice shy, I guess...I just don't know that I really believe in that anymore.

One of my friends said "Danielle, you've had a taste of freedom for too long, you aren't going to want to give that up" in reference to me 'settling down.' Maybe they were right? I do enjoy my freedom, a LOT.

I'm just not interested in compromising my wishes, dreams, aspirations ... and I don't want anyone to sacrifice theirs either. So... I guess I'm looking for the needle in the haystack that shares similar dreams and aspirations.

one more time

2012-01-05T13:53:00.001+09:00

I'm not great at blogging these days. There are two reasons for that: (1) Traveling has become my everyday life, and these 'wow' things have become regular life and I don't think about documenting it. and (2) wifi and internet connections aren't always so reliable.

So... I've been on the road for nearly 5 months. Yeah. Pretty amazing. My trip so far: South Korea (Busan) -> Philippines (Manila, Anilao, Puerto Galera) -> Malaysia (Sepang) -> India (Kerala, Calicut, Goa, Mumbai, Jalgaon, Varanasi, Khajuraho, Agra, Udaipur, Delhi, Amritsar, Dharamsala, Rishikesh) -> Malaysia (Kuala, Lumpur, Melacca) -> Thailand (Phuket) -> Malaysia (Penang, Kota Bahru) -> Philippines (Cebu, Malapascua).

Back to the Philippines... once again. Man, I love it here!

So, Right now I'm in Malapascua, Philippines. This place is one of the few (the only?) places in the world where you can dive with Thresher Sharks. I've been here one week, and I've seen them every morning. So, I've been beginning my day at 4am, and falling asleep around 2100. I've seen all kinds of lovely things, and I've been learning a lot. I'll be here for 4-8 weeks... and then.... ??

Right now I'm not sure what happens next... but the most likely course is that I'll work in a dive resort in the Philippines.

The only thing that is certain in my future is that I'll be back in the states in Autumn 2012 (after 24 months away) to be my sister's maid-of-honor. ;)

One day at a time. Every second that you're not trying to be happy, is a moment you can never recover.

Sexy and I know it

2011-12-25T12:34:00.000+09:00

I'm REALLY loving this song.

And the video cracks me up.

November updates

2011-12-11T23:51:00.001+09:00

I didn't even realize that we are now nearly half way into December. I was still totally holding onto November.

So. Let's summarize...

Did I tell you that I had the privilege of attending a Dalai Lama teaching? Yeah. I did. And, when he entered the temple, I was literally 10 feet from him. I felt completely star struck. It was so powerful. He teaches in Tibetan, so I spent a lot of time just waiting for him to pause for the translator. Honestly, I don't know much about Buddhist Philosophy, so a lot of his teaching went straight over my head. That actually happened in late October.

Then, In November....

I decided to get out of Dharamsala. So, I went to Rishikesh. It's a city in North India, that is famous for Yoga. Now, I know I said I was going to learn yoga, but damnit... I just couldn't get into it. I genuinely loathe yoga. I suppose if you think about the things that I do love...Scuba, MMA, Jujitsu...they are fast, and exciting, and adventurous... and meditation, and yoga are really quite different. So. I did try, so you gotta give me that. I managed to stay for 5 days before I went right back to Dharamsala.

I stayed in Dharamsala (McLeod Ganj) until I left India. I guess I just decided that I loved it too much, that I didn't want to leave. It's a calm, chill little place to spend your time. I ended up teaching English to some Monks, learning random topics, and reading. A lot of reading. It was glorious.

Then. I went back to Delhi and caught a flight to Malaysia at the end of November.

I ended up spending almost 12 weeks in India... and I gotta say, I'm already planning to return. Maybe I'll get around to explaining why in another post.

care packages

2011-12-11T23:39:00.001+09:00

I sent some documents, some reference material and some books to my parents to keep. You see, I'm homeless at the moment, travelling from one place to another and I thought it best to send those things away for safe keeping.

I realized that I needed a few things sooner than I anticipated, so I called my parents to ask that they mail them to me... That turned into quite the ordeal.

I'm really tidy and organized... I obviously didn't get that from my parents. They have some organization methods that really boggle me. Like, filing things by how they make them feel, or by their color. Ok. Maybe I'm exaggerating, but you catch my drift.

It took several phone calls, over several days for my father to actually track down the few things I needed.

I asked him to mail the documents to my friend, and I asked him to include a small package of American candy as a Thanks to my friend.

When I got the box, I opened it to find that he had included three large bags of candy. But. Not just any candy.... the cheap disgusting kind that you find in old people's homes. Peppermints, Cinnamon and Butterscotch candies.

I rolled my eyes. I should have known better than to ask for candy.

I looked at the box, It was $65 to ship 6lbs. (I needed it fast.) There were three bags of candy, each weighing 14oz. So... It means that I paid about $30 to ship nasty candy that cost about $3.

Hmmm. Yeah.

I mean I don't even know what he was thinking. But I do know that I won't be asking him for care packages ANYtime in the near future. From now on, Mom is on care package duty.

(Maybe that was his intention? Screw up royally, so that I never ask him to do it for me again? Hmmm. Clever man!)

Ooops

2011-12-01T23:50:00.001+09:00

I might be the only person I know who actually GAINS weight while backpacking in Asia. I'm walking ridiculous distances, but I'm making up for it with street food. Like. Things I'd NEVER eat at home (deep fried!), I'm indulging in because 'hey, it's part of the experience.'

And it's all okay, because in these places, women with curves is a GOOD thing.

October updates

2011-11-30T20:35:00.000+09:00

October was also quite brilliant.

~ I spent a few days in Delhi seeing some more sites. But, I hate big cities, so I couldn't stay long.

~ I went to Amritsar to see the Golden Temple. It was ... absolutely breathtaking.

~ Then I went to the India-Pakistan border. I had to go through several security check points to be able to see the colors ceremony. Honestly, I was a little scared that I might end up in the wrong line and actually find myself in Pakistan. The ceremony was all a bunch of hype, and seemed like an awful lot of trouble just to take down a silly flag.

~ Then I went to Dharamsala. Home of a community of Tibetan refugees, namely the Dalai Lama. And. I found 'home.' That city had such a relaxed, calm atmosphere, that it was easy to fall in love with it. I wonder how it's possible that my heart can love two mutually exclusive things (The ocean and this Tibetan village in the Himalayan foothills) with such fury. I arrived on 6/Oct... and just didn't leave. It was THAT good. And, of course, as most foreigners who visit that place will tell you, I made such amazing friendships while I stayed there.

words to live by

2011-11-29T15:24:00.001+09:00

I live my life with no regrets. What's done is done, and has become the fabric of who I am.

The greatest thing about India

2011-11-16T19:05:00.001+09:00

They call people who consume animals 'non-veg.'

As in, vegetarian is the norm and anyone who is consuming animals is
deviating from the norm.

It's fantastic to walk into any restaurant in any city and be greeted
with tons of options. Like pages upon pages of menu options for
vegetarians. I love it. So many restaurants are pure vegetarian, and
don't serve any meat options at all. Amazing!

It's sorta opposite to what I've been experiencing elsewhere. It's a
nice change of pace, and I'll surely miss it when I return to the land
of people who don't believe that their ancestors could have been
reincarnated into an animal. =/

September updates

2011-11-01T16:56:00.015+09:00

Oh man. Life is good. Really. REALLY good.

I have been having the time of my life, and I don't feel guilty in the least for neglecting my blog. ^^~

So, lets go with a little update, shall we? (Most of the links go to my youtube account: http://www.youtube.com/user/danielle813fl )

September was SO busy....
~ I ended my relationship with the Korean boy. He didn't quite understand why I felt the need to travel. He thought I should be perfectly happy staying in Korea, teaching English and living with him. He was far too grounded, he never allowed his mind to wander or to do anything daring. Every time I called him, our conversations were exactly the same... he'd ask me to move back to Korea, move in with him, and have a safe little comfortable life together. I don't like comfortable. I like adventures and dreams and wild fantasies.

~I began my India journey in Cochin, Kerala. I attended a really magnificent wedding ceremony, AS the guest of honor. ^^ I had a lot of fun in Kerala.

~I went to Goa. It wasn't quite as brilliant as everyone makes it out to be. Basically, the beaches are crap, and they are full of creepy, disgusting, perverted Indian men who are going to surround you and take your photo. Then they'll follow you around and watch you as you ATTEMPT to enjoy the sun and sand. That experience alone, sealed the deal for Indian men. Thanks, but no thanks.

~I went to Mumbai. Dirtiest metropolitan city EVER. But, I had some cool experiences.

~Then I went to Jalgaon, it was the nearest city to the Ajanta caves. (A series of Buddhist temples from 2nd century BCE.) They are quite amazing, definitely one of my favorite places in India.

~Then I went to Varanasi. It is the holiest city in India. But, not exactly all it's cracked up to be, either. It was absolutely disgusting, which I suppose made me appreciate other places much more. I ended up staying a lot longer than I expected, so I could volunteer as an ESL teacher for some underprivileged kids. You have no idea how rewarding it is to work with students who actually WANT to learn, and beg you to teach them absolutely anything.

~Then I went to Khajuraho. It's the home of the Kama Sutra Temples. It was pretty amazing. One of my favorite places in India.

~Then I went to Agra. Home of the Taj Mahal. I did actually end up getting sick and spending a majority of my time in bed. BUT, I got to see the Taj, so I was okay with spending the rest of the time in my bed.

~Then I went to Udaipur. Home of the lake palaces. I stayed in a pretty awesome hotel.When I first arrived in Udaipur, my train car was covered in blood. Apparently during my overnight train, someone climbed on top of my train and met their demise. Pretty gross to open your curtain in the morning to find blood covering your window.

~Then I went to Delhi. I'm not a big fan. Though I did see the most amazing Hindu temple there, Akshardham. And I saw some other cool places too. But, I'm just not a fan of cities.

~When I was applying for my visa, they required that I have an onward flight. So, I bought a flight to Nepal. The days leading up to my flight, I contemplated canceling my flight. And then, On 30/Sept, as I tried to check in, I found out that my flight had been canceled. Awesome news, because it gave me some more time to explore India.

It's funny how things just keep working out in my favor. Just when I think it can't possibly get any better, it does. Life is good.~

India: Crime and Punishment

2011-10-14T16:25:00.009+09:00

As of today (14/Oct), I've been traveling in India for 6 weeks. (Can you believe it?)

I can't begin to detail out all of my experiences and memories here, but I do intend to summarize my amazing trip... eventually.

Forgive me for a moment, while I forget about chronological order and skip forward to last night.

Boy. That was really an interesting night.

It culminated with me having a man arrested and pressing charges against him.

Yeah. I'm still shaking my head about that one.

Let me rewind a little.

I'm in Dharamsala, India right now. It's a lovely little town in the foothills of the Indian Himalayas. It's famous for the community of Tibetan refugees that have settled here, namely the Dalai Lama.

(Yeah. Can I just say that I'm slightly star struck every time I walk through the Dalai Lama's temple. ^^)

I'm staying in a lovely little inn on the quiet side of town called the Hunting Hill Lodge. My room, built directly into the side of the mountain appeared to be an addition to the original structure. My bathroom had three windows, two of which were just a few inches from a brick wall, and one which was painted black. I assumed the painted window also faced a brick wall.

I was in such a hurry to wash away the dirt from the day, that I hadn't realized that the paint in one corner had been scratched away.

UNTIL I looked up in the shower and caught a man looking at me. And I knew the second I saw him exactly who he was. The creepy hotel man who kept giving me eyes, and would linger a bit too long when he needed to visit my room.

I screamed. While I initially felt rather frightened and vulnerable, this quickly faded into anger. I screamed at him as he ran away "Oh, you're going to be sorry. You don't know who you are messing with."

I jumped out of the shower, and threw on the first clothes I found, then I made my way to the lobby. I banged on doors and generally made a huge scene.

A few people came out of their rooms, and in my emotional state, I began speaking Korean to one of the other guests. I didn't even know he was Korean until he responded in Korean language. I look back at that moment and giggle a little. Why did my mind revert into Korean language?

I found the other hotel staff, who showed me the back room where the man had watched me. There were boxes piled, and for a moment I wondered how many times he had climbed those boxes to watch me.

I screamed... "WHERE IS HE?" And continued to scour the hotel looking for him. His face etched in my mind.

I found him. In his room. He was pretending to sleep. But. I wasn't buying it, and neither was the other staff members. He came out, and I berated him. Then when he tried to deny it, I couldn't help myself. I pulled my arm back, and slapped him across the face with all my might. I screamed "It is NOT okay to watch me shower, you pervert."

The man denied that it had been him in the window, which only served to infuriate me further.

The staff begged that I allow them to handle the situation discretely, without police involvement. They said that police would place the blame on management, rather than the staff member who was responsible. They were afraid for their jobs, and begged that I consider the situation from their perspective. But, after the gall of that man to deny it after I had caught him in the act, I refused and insisted on having the police involved.

It took more than an hour for the police to finally arrive, and when they did, they spoke directly with the staff in Hindi. They didn't so much as ask me anything. They read the statement, that the staff had requested I write while we waited, and then asked for my passport.

I felt a little remorseful for having involved the police when they began beating the man in front of me. Then they turned to me and asked what I'd like them to do to him. I was shocked. I replied 'I don't know about Indian laws, but I'd like you to follow them.'

This man was wrong for what he did. Definitely. But did he deserve to be beaten like that? I'm not so sure.

After they arrested him, I asked them 'What will you charge him with?' To which they replied 'We have arrested him. You will not see him again. We will punish him for two weeks, then he will see a judge who will charge him according to penal code.' And then just like that, they left with the man.

Do I think that he deserves to be punished? Absolutely. But, unfortunately, I think my idea of punishment is vastly different from the Indian police. And I felt a pang of remorse for having involved the police in the first place. Surely there must be another way to punish this man, that doesn't involve such violent means?

I don't know, but it's done now. And I've changed rooms, and there is no use in dwelling on things that I cannot change.

India: First things first

2011-10-07T17:10:00.001+09:00

India is... so chaotic. Before I get into all the positive things I have to say about India, I want to just go ahead and air my major complaints so they aren't looming over and intoxicating my future posts.

People LOVE to use their horn. I swear, they might use the horn 10 times on one city block alone. And if traffic is backed up, they'll just lay on the horn as if that is going to magically sort out whatever is delaying the flow of traffic. It is so.freaking.annoying.

The horns only add to the noisiness of India. Music. People. Cars. Crying. Screaming. Everything is at the highest volume possible. I went to see a movie with a friend, and I literally had to plug my ears because it was TOO loud.

The locals equate my fair skin with wealth. So, on an almost daily basis someone will walk right up to me, and put their hands out as if to collect their paycheck from me. Really? Not going to happen. I don't finance beggars. If you want my money, you need to give me something in return. Make a bracelet, give me a service, do something, anything BUT beg.

Bureaucracy. Ridiculous steps through ridiculous processes. Everyone is paranoid about the government (perhaps, rightfully so). It is not fun. Especially when dealing with Immigration, law enforcement or any public authority.

The tourist mark up on prices is quite frustrating. It's not uncommon that someone will try to charge me 2-3-4 times the actual price. And I don't do the bartering crap. If I know they are trying to cheat me, I walk away and find someone else who will be more reasonable. I rarely buy anything that doesn't have a fixed price (a price tag that is visible to everyone), and I usually ask about 2-3 people what the cost for a taxi would be before I even approach a taxi driver.

India is SO dirty. The streets are littered with rubbish, because no one cares enough to actually place the rubbish in a bin. People expel their bodily fluids and adjust their body parts anywhere they so please. (I'm trying to be politically correct here, but I think you catch my drift.) So, you can imagine, the streets are filled with animal waste, human waste, rubbish, and all matter of disgusting things. Great.

But, if you can look past all of the bad things, you'll see there is so much more to India than meets the eye.

motorcycles

2011-10-01T13:53:00.001+09:00

I was telling my friend a story, and as soon as I let the words "I was on the back of the motorcycle..." slip out of my mouth, he stopped me.

"Wait. YOU were on the back of a motorcycle in INDIA?! WHAT.THE.HELL were you thinking?"

And. Then. As if his verbal lashings hadn't been harsh enough, I had to admit that I hadn't even been wearing a helmet. (Indians rarely even own a helmet.)

Dear lord. His words stung.

Then, I realized that I've been on the back of a motorcycle FAR more often in the last month than I had in the previous two years. Yep. In the last month. Since my dear friend was killed in a motorcycle accident. I know.

What. the. hell was I thinking?

I don't know.

Am I going to stop riding on motorcycles?

Probably not. Nothing compares to the feeling of wind blowing your hair as you round a new road and see something you've never seen before.

Time isn't guaranteed, so I'm going to enjoy every second while I can.

the unexpected

2011-09-22T22:48:00.001+09:00

I had a few days in Philippines until my course began, so I made some plans with my friends that live in Manila to have an adventure.

I arrived in Manila late Saturday 13/Aug. After I checked into my hotel, I sent a message to my friends... "I'm here."

On Sunday, I sent them a message again "I'm in Manila, yo."

No reply. I assumed they were busy.

Then, Monday I talked to my friend's sister.

"I'm so sad. My brother died."

What?!?

I was really in shock.

He was involved in a motorcycle accident sometime in the early morning hours between 12th and 13th and later expired on the 13th.

Just a few hours before I was meant to meet up with him and his wife.

Yeah. HIS WIFE. Now, a widow at just 21 years old.

I expected to go have an adventure with my friends, and instead I was paying last respects and condolences.

I never expected to be going to a funeral on my vacation. But. It happened.

This family has been my pseudo-family. They send me messages, invite me into their home and treat me as if I belong there. It was quite the shock to lose my "brother."

It's a reminder that time is the one thing that is never guaranteed. So, live your life the way YOU want. Every second that you're not trying to be happy, is a moment you can never recover.

Philippines. Again.

2011-09-14T16:46:00.001+09:00

I decided to take my summer vacation at the end of my contract, to make things easier. It required a little smooth talking on my part (and a little fibbing... ooops). But in the end, it all worked out.

I left Korea 13/August and headed for the Philippines for 3 weeks. Yes. Again. I <3 the Philippines.

Only this time, I wasn't going to the Philippines for leisure. This time, I was going to take the Scuba Instructor Development course (IDC) so that I can turn my passion for diving into some fun employment. ;)

I went back to Tom Morato at Diver's Network. I had taken my Advanced and Rescue certifications with him on my first trip to the Philippines. I knew he was a thorough instructor who would prepare me, not only for the instructor exam, but for employment as a scuba instructor.

Let me tell you, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. He was far more harsh and strict and tough during this IDC than he was during my previous courses. There were so many times that I felt like I couldn't make it. I really questioned whether or not I should continue the course, or scuba diving as a profession. There were so many gaps in my knowledge left by former instructors. It was absolutely frustrating. So, for a little more than a week, I studied from the early morning until the evening. It was exhausting!

I questioned whether I was ready for my Instructor Exam (IE) up to the moment that I sat at the orientation. I was terrified. (I hate exams!)

But, let me tell you, my IDC was far more intense than the IE. Which, I'm rather grateful for, as I was more than prepared for that exam.

I did pass my exam, and I'm now a PADI certified Open Water Scuba Instructor. Yay. So, now to find a job. hmmm.

Next stop:India. For travel. Not scuba. ;)

final days at the gym

2011-09-08T12:09:00.001+09:00

Another thing I haven't blogged about (and it's quite old by now) are my final days at the gym.

I fractured my foot in early July. I was practicing my kickboxing form and I ended up kicking my opponent a little too hard. It was terrible timing, just a few weeks prior to my final belt test. So, I ended up training lightly (no kicks!) for a while, but I was still injured at my test.

I was really nervous at my test, because I was testing for black, and it was my last test before leaving Korea. In the weeks leading up to my test, I was practicing 2 or 3 hours daily. I was meeting other more advanced students to practice form and sparring. And, wouldn't you know, that with all that stretching, I was finally able to do a split. (YAY!-- though I still can't do a full straddle split.) Finally being able to do that split and hand stand are the reasons I was allowed to test.

The test was absolutely terrifying. As the most senior person at the gym, I was meant to go first. But, thankfully, the examiner decided to let some Koreans go first and let me follow along. I know, I know. It's terrible that after more than 18 months I don't know the Korean names of all the kicks, punches and blocks. =/

So, I had to have the standard form test... stand in a row, and do the kicks, punches, blocks as they called them out.

Then. I had to spar. There are very few women who attend my gym. Of those women, the only ones in my weight class are beginners. So, I refused to spar with them. I wanted to be with a more evenly matched opponent. So, I sparred with a man.

I felt like the match went okay. I felt like I could have done better or had more endurance.

After the test was complete, my classmates pulled me aside and said "oh my god, Danielle. I didn't realize you had THAT in you." We had a new master of the gym who works primarily with kickboxing, and had never seen my jujitsu sparring. He, along with several other black belts praised my technique. It was AWESOME. Really Awesome.

Master and the examiner discussed the results and Master presented our scores. I scored really high in two components (Jujitsu and tumbling) and average in everything else. Master said that I scored the highest of anyone, and had the most improvement from the last test. Then, he said "You've earned your black belt."

Honestly, I wasn't so excited about hearing that I'd get my black belt, as I was about all the praise. You have no idea how good it felt to hear that I did so well-- particularly from people who (IMO) are well beyond my level.

So. I now have a black belt in Mixed Martial Arts. =]

And. Since I left Korea (any my gym), I'm not really planning to continue practicing this sport. Now, I'm thinking something with less impact, because I've had more than my share of injuries. I'm thinking Yoga next. ;)

making decisions

2011-09-05T11:58:00.000+09:00

I'm not so good at making plans anymore. Which is interesting. If you knew me 4 years ago, you'd know that I was the queen of planning. I don't know how it happened, but somewhere along the line things changed. And I'm totally okay with that.
So, I knew my contract was ending, but I had no plan for post-Korea. I had a whole lot of dreams, wishes and desires but no real direction.

Then, I met my friend for tea to catch up. Vacations, hobbies and work had kept us so busy that we hadn't really spoken in weeks.

I remember saying "There are so many things I want to do after Korea, so I'm just waiting for something to come along and make my decision easy."

And then he said "Well, Danielle, I have some news for you. I got engaged. I'm getting married this Autumn."

And it was just that simple. Those words made my decision so easy, I knew I couldn't miss his wedding.

So, it was that rainy day in a cafe in Tongyeong, when I decided that I was going to India.

caught up in the moment

2011-09-02T13:31:00.001+09:00

There are so many things to update, and no time to do it. So, let's just make it simple with a small summary of the last two months.

I'm not in Korea anymore. I finished my contract and I set off on a new adventure. More on that soon...

It was REALLY hard to leave Korea. As the weeks wound down, my friends began their attempts at convincing me to stay. It was SO hard to hear all the reasons I should stay, and know in my heart that I had to leave.

And then, someone said "Danielle, you're really kind and compassionate, you care so much about other people. You're so much like my friend, let me introduce the two of you." And. I can't tell you why I decided to go along with it. I already had a ticket out of the country... But, I did. And, he was so right. His friend was... absolutely NOTHING like any other Korean man I'd ever met. He doesn't fit ANY of those complaints or stereotypes that I've mentioned here before. And. I got so caught up in the moment with him. It was pure bliss.

He even introduced me to his family. A Korean man, who is an ONLY son, introduced me to his parents and older sister. Yeah. And I loved them. And they loved me. And I even stayed at his sister's house. And his Dad spoke a few words of English to me. And his mom invited me to stay with her. Now. If you don't know Korean culture, you don't understand just how BIG this is. But, if you do, please pick your jaw up off the floor.

Yeah. And. He doesn't hide his emotions to me. Not in front of his colleagues, not in front of his friends, not in front of anyone. He's not ashamed of me or of our relationship.

Before I left, he asked me to come back to Korea and move in with him.

*sigh*

We agreed to keep in touch.

So, we're sorta doing the LDR thing right now. Though we've made an agreement to just live one day at a time and see what happens. I told him not to wait for me, I gave him my blessing to date anyone he pleases. And he told me to enjoy my life and not worry about all the details. I've been calling him since I left Korea, and every time he asks me to come back to Korea.

So, I'm torn. I really care for him, and we fit together so well. BUT, the lifestyle that I've been dreaming about and working towards doesn't really have room for another person. If I want to be with him, I have to go back to Korea.

So. I don't know what happens next. Sometimes when I talk to him, I'm overcome with a strong desire to book a flight back to see him. To see what can happen between us. And, sometimes, when I haven't spoken to him (out of sight, out of mind...), I feel like I should just skip over that sentimental nonsense and stick to my solo plan.

Who knows.

When I figure it out, I'll let you know.

swedish meal time

2011-08-02T13:43:00.001+09:00

This is totally not what I remember meal time to be like when I lived in Sweden.

Beautiful girls

2011-08-01T11:06:00.000+09:00

Love.

my allegience

2011-07-31T08:50:00.000+09:00

pen

2011-07-30T16:18:00.000+09:00

I think it's slightly annoying when I ask for a pen and they ask why...

Really? Are there really so many other ways you are using your pens?

What do you really think I'm going to do with it?

technically

2011-07-29T22:32:00.001+09:00

what else matters?

2011-07-29T06:52:00.000+09:00

“You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect - you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there.”

genius

2011-07-28T22:31:00.000+09:00

"Can you help me? I got another genius taxi driver."
"What?"
"I showed him your text. He doesn't understand. And he can't speak English. It's ridiculous."
"Umm ok."
[I gave the taxi driver an alternative location, since he was unfamiliar with the other landmark.]

When my friend arrived, he was really quite peeved about the situation.

And that annoyed me.

"Do you know what language they speak in Korea?"
"Wha--"
"Well, I'm just asking because it seems you think English is their national language. It's not, in case you were wondering."

"uh.hmm.uh."

Yeah. I really don't like to be around THOSE kind of people. They bring the moral down for the entire group.

Is it really so enjoyable being negative all the time? Agh. I couldn't do that.

gay

2011-07-28T07:44:00.000+09:00

I'm loving this argument.

heads up

2011-07-27T12:57:00.001+09:00

I've dated a lot of men in the last six months, but a vast majority haven't even made it past first base.

Now I'm really interested in someone. And. There is a possibility for it to be more than a fling.

I know someone who had a fling with him a while ago. It didn't work out between the two of them.

Is it strange that I really want to ask her what he was like in bed? (I probably won't.)

I mean. I just want to know if he's boring or adventurous... and if he knows what he's doing.

No real details. Just a little... heads up. (So I can set realistic expectations.) I mean, I'd totally give a thumbs up/down review of my past lovers (and maybe even some 'he likes/ he doesn't like' advice, too) to the ladies who are interested in them.

preserving

2011-07-26T18:15:00.002+09:00

For a woman so concerned about preserving her virtue, I sure do a lot of stupid shit.

I catch myself after the fact just shaking my head and saying "WTH were you thinking?"

The follies I speak of, specifically relate to men and dating. Of course.

After the excitement and newness of Korea wore off, I needed entertainment. And I suppose I found it in having a very active dating life.

There has been circle drama. I stopped dating Guy A, and started dating Guy B... who was introduced to me via Guy A. Then. When it didn't work with Guy B, I tried again with Guy A. REALLY, Danielle. WTF were you thinking. But this actually happened TWICE. 4 separate men. 4 separate relationships. 2 sets of friends. Not proud. Definitely not proud. But. It happened.

And then. There were a handful of men that I dated from within the same circle of friends. Though I didn't realize it until one night at the bar. I was with Guy A. Then, we were joined by Guy B's friends, and then we were joined by Guy C. Three men, who all shared the same group of friends. Awkward. Because I knew everyone at the table, some of those friends knew me as the girl dating Guy A, some knew me as the girl dating Guy B, and some knew me as the girl who dated Guy C. Yeah.

And then, there have been the walks of shame. You know. Going home in the morning, wearing the same clothes from the night before. Yeah. Like the time that I met my student on the bus at 7am. She was on her way to school, and I was on my way home from a party. It probably wouldn't have been so awkward if I hadn't been wearing a shirt that said "Bitch please, I'm fabulous." It's... not my proudest moment as a teacher. And then, there was this awkwardness going on between us when I had her in my class later that day. The way she looked at me said "Teacha, I know what you were doing!"

Or, the time that I left a current flings home, and met a previous fling in the stairway. Dating men who live in the same building is just an awkward encounter waiting to happen.

I know I'm harder on myself than I should be, because there was no simultaneous dating going on... but still.

I need a bigger dating pool. Tongyeong isn't working for me anymore.

Ola

2011-07-26T12:34:00.001+09:00

This. Looks. Awesome.

Introducing Minna Ola from Minna Life on Vimeo.

poo

2011-07-25T07:46:00.003+09:00

I encounter a lot of culture differences as an American living in Korea.

Some of them are extremely entertaining.

My students don't think twice about talking about poop.

More often than not, if I inquire as to why a student is late, their answer is something along the lines of "I was pooping."

I was in a particularly silly mood one morning. So, when my students asked why my coteacher was late I replied with "He is pooping."

I didn't actually expect that they would want to confirm his whereabouts when he entered our classroom during the lesson.

"Teacher, were you pooping? Danielle teacher said you were late because you were pooping."

I don't think my face has ever been so red. Thankfully, this coteacher thought it was hilarious, not offensive.

sticking it out

2011-07-24T14:18:00.000+09:00

So, I didn't end up quitting my gym. I took a few days off and basically decided that I couldn't give up so easily. And I'm really glad I stuck around.

When I went back, Master was thrilled to see me. He apologized several times for offending me.

Then, I sat him down, and told him.

"I am not fat. And, if you ever call me fat again, I will never come here again." I think that shocked him.

You see, I've been at the gym since it opened. A lot of students have come and gone, but I've been there, faithfully. Most students will go 3 or so days a week. But, I've been going 5 days a week (unless I was traveling or too injured/ill) for 16 months. He's come to expect seeing my face.

Anyways, to reinforce my point, I showed him a photo of my family from a recent event. Perhaps that was a bit rude to use them as an example. But, I just needed to show him that me being 45kg (99lbs) is not a realistic, or healthy goal for me. I needed him to see that my family doesn't even come close to resembling an Asian family, and comparing me to Asian women isn't fair.

His first reaction was "Oh my god." (Yeah, Let's face it. They are HUGE compared to Asians.)

I said "This is my family. They are tall. They are big. They are not short and slim. They don't have S-lines."

I said "My body fat percentage is normal, My weight is higher than Korean women because I have a higher muscle mass."

And. I think a light bulb went off for him.

Almost two months later, and everything is still grand. He hasn't mentioned my size or shape a single time.

A new girl joined our gym. She is the Korean model type (tall and VERY slim). All the men have been drooling over her, and she has been dubbed "Ms. Korea" by some of the guys in our gym. Personally, I don't think she's attractive at all. And that is because she is plastic. I would much rather celebrate a natural woman.

While out to a group dinner with my gym mates, she asked that question I have grown to loathe. "You don't eat any animals? How many vegetables does it take to make you so fat?"

And before I could reply, Master stepped in and reprimanded her. "She isn't fat. She is beautiful." It was awesome to hear him argue the same points that I've been telling him the entire time I've known him.

=]

another farewell

2011-07-23T15:05:00.000+09:00

I had to say goodbye (for now) to someone that means so much to me. As I wrote this letter, tears flowed down my cheeks. How can any words really give justice to how I feel? After I read the letter again, I realized that it is relevant to so many friendships that I've made in recent years. So, I'm sharing it....

I don't know what the future holds- and I know that neither you, nor I can make a promise of tomorrow. So I will say this- Thank you. Thank you for inspiring me. Thank you for enriching my life and bringing me so many smiles. Thank you for being endlessly kind and compassionate. Thank you for giving me hope and teaching me to love again. Thank you for all the silly moments filled with laughter. We may not have had much time together - but I'm so grateful for all the memories we were able to make. Thank you for being so understanding and accepting of all of my silly little quirks. Thank you for accepting me as I am- and for reminding me to be true to myself. When I met you, I knew that you would be a great influence, but I couldn't imagine the innumerable, immeasurable ways that you would enrich my life.

You make me want to be a better person. For that, and so many more reasons- I love you.

Thank you for everything, Love, Danielle.

ignoring logic

2011-07-22T16:39:00.000+09:00

I've said it before, but I'm largely guided by my emotions. I'm much happier when I'm following my heart and ignoring logic. And most of the time it serves me well. But sometimes I just have to sit back and say "WTF were you thinking?"

Those moments make for some really interesting memories. Some of which make me laugh out loud when I recall them later.

Of course, I can't share those moments until I'm over the shame and embarrassment, this is why you find out about those things so long after they happened. ^^~

do you like to cook?

2011-07-21T16:20:00.000+09:00

I'm really uncoordinated. And sometimes I'm too hard on myself.

While trying out some new punch combos, I just couldn't get my form where it should be. And I was getting really upset with myself. When I'd screw up, I'd curse... "fuck." My friend found it slightly entertaining. And he kept trying to cheer me up and remind me that I'm doing a fantastic job. But. Then I'd screw up big time, and curse myself again. Then he said "What? Do you want to fuck?" But he said it in this very funny way to break the mood... and it worked.

Later, we were chatting.

"Do you like to fuck?"

I thought it was rather forward, but we have been friends for a long time. And our friendship has been rather open... so, okay. Why not, I'll go there.

"Yes. I do."

"What do you like?"

Ok. Well. Why not. I'm not shy.

"I like natural and uncut. I like loud and rough and strong. I don't like soft and quiet and calm. I like passion and emotion. I like to try new things and experiment."

"In Korea?"

"Well, not lately."

"I think it must be so difficult for you in Korea. But it's probably better than restaurants."

"huh?"

"Because you are vegetarian."

I was so lost... And then I realized He said "Do you like to cook?" not "Do you like to fuck?"

I don't think I've ever laughed so hard in my life.

He said
"I'm sorry, my English is not so good." He really had NO idea that we were talking about totally different activities.

I said "No, your English isn't the problem, it's my English this time."

This is one time that I'm rather glad that his English is not so good.

still single

2011-07-20T22:38:00.000+09:00

"I'm so lovin this new guy in your life."

"Who is this new fella youre dating?"

'I need details about the man from your blog!'

I did mention that my recent blogs aren't current or sequential...

So. yeah.

At the present moment (20/July @ 20:36 KST) there is no man in my life.

But I will continue to post all those draft blogs from my recent flings. And then, at some point, I'll begin posting about stuff that is more current. But. For now... catch up. ;)

Yeah. The good guy was a really good guy, but... You know, at the present moment circumstances aren't really working in favor of that. It's the nature of expat life... someone is just arriving, someone else is going, and we've all on different paths. So. I choose to enjoy the moment, and not worry about the next step...

That's what she said.

2011-07-20T16:12:00.001+09:00

start chasing them

2011-07-20T10:19:00.012+09:00

So many of my friends say something like "I want to..." or "I wish I could..." when they refer to how I live my life.

All details aside, I'm just doing what makes me happy. Sure, the scale may be a bit grand. BUT, you can make the first step in your own pursuit of happiness.

What is it that you WANT to do?

What are you waiting for?

If you HAVE wanted to do it, and you STILL want to do it...why aren't you doing it?

Stop waiting for someone to tell you that it's okay to chase your dreams... and start chasing them.

Just figure out the first step and do it.

Every single moment you aren't trying to be happy, every single moment you aren't trying to do what you want to do... is a missed opportunity.

So, stop wasting your moments.

unconditional

2011-07-19T14:05:00.001+09:00

"I love you for no reason at all. Because If I had a reason for loving you, then my love would depend on that reason. I don't want that. Everything changes. But. I don't ever want to stop loving you. So, I love you for no reason. There is nothing you can say or do that will ever stop my love. I may not agree with your choices, and I may not like your actions, but I will always love you."

balance

2011-07-19T07:18:00.000+09:00

Balance is neglecting everything just a little bit.

sleepy talk

2011-07-18T10:47:00.001+09:00

"Please turn off the air conditioner."
"What?"
"I'm cold. Please turn it off."
"Huh? mumble.mumble.mumble."
"Use the remote. It's next to you."
"mumble.mumble."
"Nevermind. I'll do it myself."
[... sometime later I heard him getting up...]
"What time is it?"
"mumble. 7. mumble."
[I went back to sleep, and sometime later... I heard him again]
"You're going to be late, you should have left already."
"No. I'm okay. It's 6:30."
"Huh. What? You told me it was 7 a while ago."
"uhhh."
"You can't speak English when you're tired."
"I can't speak any language when I'm tired."

romantic

2011-07-17T08:21:00.001+09:00

"How can you say that I'm not romantic?"
"You're too... serious and practical."
"But, you say that I watch you when you sleep. That's romantic."
"No, honey. That's creepy. I don't want you to watch me sleep."
"Why?"
"Because I'm drooling, snoring, and I look like this...."
[Insert extreme over-exaggerated demonstration complete with crazy faces and weird noises.]
"Oh. Wow. YOU. are not. romantic."

keep it

2011-07-16T16:21:00.000+09:00

[via text]
"I left something there. Can you keep it for me?"[I looked around, but I couldn't find anything.]
"Ok. What is it?"
"I think my heart is somewhere around there. Keep it carefully."

joys

2011-07-16T10:30:00.000+09:00

Do not overlook the small joys in life, while searching for the big ones.

I'll cook for you

2011-07-15T11:37:00.000+09:00

(via text)
"Have you eaten dinner yet?"
"No, not yet."
"Don't eat. I'm coming over. I'll cook for you."
"Ok!"

He went to the mart and bought everything he needed.

Then he came and prepared a fantastic VEGAN meal for me. (He isn't even vegetarian, so that was... just amazing.)

Then...

"Why aren't you eating?"
"Because I'm not hungry."
"Oh. Really? You should eat "
"Yeah, but I already had dinner."
"Huh. Wha? You said you were going to prepare dinner."
"Yeah, I wanted to prepare dinner for YOU. But I already ate with my coworkers."

Is that not the sweetest thing... EVER?

And later....

"When I was in the market, I called my mom. She told me what to buy and how to cook it."
=]

good guy

2011-07-14T09:11:00.002+09:00

I was hanging out with one of my friends, and the conversation fell to dating, future plans and matchmaking. While trying to figure out a good match for him, I kept writing off every possible choice because she wasn't good enough for him. I just kept thinking "He's such a good guy, he really deserves [blah blah blah]."

For a long time, I thought about the person that would compliment him, and how he should go about meeting that person. But, my mind kept drawing blank. I just couldn't see him settling for someone who wouldn't treat him the same way he treats everyone else. He is THE nice guy. He is kind and compassionate. He is slow to anger and quick to forgive. He will help anyone, anywhere, for any reason, or for no reason at all. He loves unconditionally and he never judges.

I don't really know how long it took me to realize ... "oh my god. I really care for him."

From the first moment, I knew I liked him. He was awkward and charming and he immediately had me laughing. Laughter is definitely the way to my heart. I love to laugh, and if you make me laugh like that, I'm going to love you.

It took me some time... but eventually I just felt like I had to share my feelings. And, I think we were both a little surprised to learn that we both felt that way.

Of course, it wouldn't be my life, if there wasn't some amount of chaos involved. So... full disclosure...

I met him...
when I was on a date ...
with someone else...
and that someone else...
happens to be his best friend.
:o

So, his best friend was trying to date me. And. I wasn't feeling it. But, he was really persistent, so I thought I'd give it a try anyways. I guess he thought that it would be a good idea to introduce me to friends.

I told him "I really like your best friend. He's such a good guy. I think I could be his friend forever." (My intentions were strictly platonic.)

Sometime after I ended that little fling, I met up with the good guy for some site-seeing. And everything started to fall into place there. It was really, truly, platonic... at first.

Then one evening after I left his place, I got a text from the original guy "Are you happy with him?"
Oops. I mean. I guess I sorta expected that he would eventually find out about us.

Some texts back and forth, and eventually we ended with "You're a good girl, and you deserve a good guy like him. But, I just don't want that to mean I'm the bad guy." To which I replied "You're not a bad guy, just not the guy for me."

But. I was overly optimistic to believe that would be the end. Let other people play devil's advocate and add in a lot of booze, and eventually I got a text saying "I hate you. He is my best friend. I can't believe you."

But, the thing is, there was NO overlap. I ended the fling, had a period of nothing-ness, and THEN my friendship with the good guy evolved into whatever it is.

Good guy talked to original guy, and they smoothed things over. But original guy is a bit upset with me. So I imagine this will make some awkward moments until he gets over himself.

Exciting, eh?

It's really interesting how things worked out....

My students keep catching me, then inquiring about it. And I can no longer keep a straight face when I'm denying that he is anything more than a friend....

In Korea, there is no in-between, it goes from 'just friends' to 'boyfriend.' A more accurate option would be 'we're just seeing each other' or 'we're dating.'...But as far as most (Korean) people are concerned... I've got a boyfriend.

Yeah. I don't know how I feel about that one. Scary. Really Scary. One day at a time. Eh.

updating

2011-07-13T16:13:00.001+09:00

YAY for public school. I finally have the time to finish all those draft blogs that have been cluttering my box.

So, many of my recent (and upcoming) blogs are not sequential or current. But maybe that will keep you guessing about what is REALLY going on in my life at the present moment.

I have blogs scheduled to be posted for the rest of this month. Yay. ;)

But, don't get too excited, I'm getting ready to go on a long hiatus.

Sorry about that.

By my side

2011-07-13T06:47:00.000+09:00

I'm loving this song. And the video.

chameleon

2011-07-12T13:14:00.000+09:00

I met this guy in the market, and he invited me out. He seemed nice enough, so I went.

When I met him again, I thought... "hey, he's sorta cute." He reminded me of my first love... strong facial features and a beautiful complexion. Perhaps that's slightly odd, but I have great memories of my first love.

Anyways. After a few drinks, he wasn't looking so attractive anymore. And after a few more, I realized that he had a lazy eye. Which, hey, that's fine, I'm not perfect either.

But. The more he drank, the lazier his eye got. Until at one point, I couldn't tell which eye I should look at anymore. When he was looking directly at me, neither of his eyes were pointing in my direction. I mean, I'm sure he was looking at me, his nose was towards me, he was talking to me, but both eyes were pointing off into random directions.

Then he'd blink, and both eyes would go back to normal for a few seconds. It was an interesting little trick, that both intrigued and perplexed me.

It definitely didn't look natural. It was so awkward, because I was really trying not to bring attention to his little.. problem.

It was like going out with a chameleon. Both of his eyes wandered independently, occasionally locking onto their prey--me.

Odd. Just. Really. Odd.

Also, for the record, when he's sober... his eyes don't wander. But, either way, I don't see him anymore, for other reasons.

coed school farewell

2011-07-11T16:43:00.000+09:00

Today was my last day at my co-ed school. It was really sad, because I love, love, love this job. The staff is fantastic, the students are motivated, the facilities are awesome, and they are so relaxed about everything.

I gave a note to the hot Korean language teacher that I've been crushing on for the last 18 months. "Don't forget me. I love you. Danielle loves HotKoreanTeacher" and I gave him some candies. This is nothing knew, as I've been giving him notes the entire time I've known him. And, I actually convinced all my students last year that he was my boyfriend and that we were getting married. He's so shy, he skirted the issue completely rather than denying it... so most of my students still believe it. ;)

I caught one of my male students looking down my shirt when I asked him a question. I imagine his mind was answering my question with "booooooobies!" (Also, I totally wore two shirts so that this wouldn't be an issue, but I guess it wasn't enough.)

One of my other male students passed me a note. It had his phone number and email address on it.

Another male student tried to hold my hand as I walked down the hallway.

A few of my students cried.

I'm going to miss this school. HARD.

They asked me to think about coming back in March to work exclusively at this school. And. I'm considering it. Especially, since there is a small chance that I can marry HotKoreanTeacher and have some beautiful babies.

alien

2011-07-11T08:46:00.000+09:00

I was crossing the road with the guy that I was seeing.

"Argh. What the fuck!" [In a really angry voice, and complete with arm gestures.]
"Huh. What?" [I'm completely oblivious to what changed the mood from happiness to anger]
"Did you see that guy?"
"What guy? What are you talking about?"
"That taxi driver. The way he looked at you!"
"No, I didn't see."
"He's staring at you, like there is something wrong with you."
"What!?"
"You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and he's looking at you... like you're an alien."
"Wha.... Are you serious?"
"Yeah."
"People look at me... every. single. day. It's not because they think I'm an alien. It's because they are curious about me. I look different. So, they're curious about who I am, where I come from, and what I'm doing here. It's just curiosity. It's not hate."
"Yeah. Well I don't like it."
"Yeah. Well. I don't like your negative perspective."

It was our last date.

my english

2011-07-10T12:19:00.002+09:00

Another funny moment with an English language learner... (My part of this conversation is written in purple.)

"I woke up at 5am."

"What were you doing at 5am?"

"I was thinking."

"What were you thinking?"

"Global crease, enema and war."
"WHAT?"
"Global crease. You know, economy crease."
(thinking for a moment...) "You mean crisis!"
[It took me a few moments to stop laughing so I could explain.]

"Crease is the line in your shirt or pants when you fold them."

"But you know I don't speak English english, I speak my english."
"mmmhmm, wait, what was that second word you said?"
"I said enema."
"WHAT!?"
"enema. anemil. You know, you love them so you don't eat them."

"Animal!"

[At this point I'm laughing so hard my stomach is hurting. I can barely catch my breath.]
"What is so funny?"
"It sounded like you said enema."
"What is enema?"
[This only makes me laugh harder, at the idea of me explaining an enema.]
"Ok. Enema is... well, okay, you put... warm water... in a bottle."
"Wait. I'm so confused now. What does warm water have to do with animals."

"You take this warm water... and.... put.... the water.... in... your bum."

"What is this? What is bum?"
[At this point I'm equally entertained and embarrassed by this conversation.]

"This (pointing to my butt) is a bum. But I think it's just better.... if I use a translator."

[I use google to translate 'enema']
"I don't know this. What is this?"

"I'll look in Google images... but maybe you shouldn't look.... because I don't know what will come up... and maybe there will be some... really dirty images."

[He didn't heed my advice and looked anyways, and the images were... pretty graphic.]
"Oh. But I think there is a different mean for that."
[Next I looked up the definition of enema.]
"I'm going to translate the definition."
"I don't think that is necessary. I understand very well from picture."

Maybe it's just because it was 2am, but the entire situation was absolutely hilarious to me. I told him "we need to begin recording our conversations. There are so many funny moments. We can make a blog and share our hilarious moments." He said "okay, but please put some other things about me in your blog, not just my english."

worshipped

2011-07-09T16:26:00.000+09:00

I've got so many memories that never made it to my blog for one reason or another. So, today... another throw back blog. ^^

I'll be honest. It's really hard to feel beautiful or feminine when I'm surrounded by pretty boys who like to remind me that I'm not [insert positive adjective here] and that I'm too [insert negative adjective here]. (...There you go pointing out my flaws again, as if I don't already see them...)

That's not to say that all the men have been like that, just... more than I would have liked.

But. There was one guy who ...made me feel like... a goddess.

I was dating this Brazilian guy... now I wouldn't normally mention nationality... except, it's totally relevant here.

So, we were dating. And. It was intense and wonderful, and passionate and ... we made so many great memories.

One morning, as I was getting changed, he watched me from his bed.
"You are absolutely gorgeous."

I had some crazy morning hair, I was taking off his shirt and boxers, and putting back on the same clothes from the night before... But, he still thought I was beautiful.

He got out of bed, just after I put on my shirt. And, knelt on the floor and kissed my bare bottom.

I tried to move away, and he scolded me.
"You are gorgeous, and you have the most fantastic ass I've ever seen. Just let me worship you for a moment."

And ... I did. And. A few more times in our relationship, he did it again. Even in public. Maybe you think that's very strange... but I think it's ... passionate and intense. And, I've never felt so ... empowered.

Everyone knows that Brazil is home to the most fantastic bums on this planet... so having this beautiful Brazilian man worship my bum, felt ... amazing.

English is fun

2011-07-08T13:26:00.000+09:00

"I don't know the word in English, but ...taking the small children."

"Oh my. You mean kidnapping?" (sarcastically)

"What?" (confused)

"You have no idea how much I enjoy your English... You mean adoption."

courage

2011-07-07T08:47:00.000+09:00

dating omnis

2011-07-06T16:06:00.000+09:00

I think I'm finally at the point where dating Omnis is REALLY unappealing. (Omnivore-- people who eat plants AND animals... no, no, You aren't a Carnivore. Carnivores ONLY eat animals.)

Lots of my friends are Omnis, and it doesn't really get in the way. We respect each others' dietary preferences. And we try to stay in the middle, eating at some restaurant that works for both of us. (Even if we DO have to frequent the same restaurants time and again.)

But. I'm really not a big fan of the ...obstacles in creates when I'm dating someone.

Two men in the last two months invited me on dates that involved eating meat. And when I pointed out that the menu didn't work for me, they asked me to come along anyways.

o_O What?

I was like "I don't eat that, and I don't really want to sit around and watch you eat it either."

And both of them said something along the lines of "You should come anyways, so we can spend time together."

Umm. No.

catfish

2011-07-05T09:36:00.004+09:00

They used to tank cod from Alaska all the way to China. They'd keep them in vats in the ship. By the time the codfish reached China, the flesh was mush and tasteless. So this guy came up with the idea that if you put these cods in these big vats, put some catfish in with them and the catfish will keep the cod agile. And there are those people who are catfish in life. And they keep you on your toes. They keep you guessing, they keep you thinking, they keep you fresh. And I thank god for the catfish because we would be droll, boring and dull if we didn't have somebody nipping at our fin.

awkward night out

2011-07-03T10:17:00.006+09:00

Friday night I went out for a girls' night out. We went to dinner, then we decided to stop into one of the newest bars on the seaside street.

On the way to dinner, I bumped into some business contacts who noticed that my attire wasn't exactly Korean-style. It was awkward. (Korean women don't show cleavage, but some of my dresses from the states do ... and well, I still wear them out to bars.)

Just as we were sitting down, I noticed that the intense guy that I mentioned in my strangest relationship post was sitting across the bar facing me. So, I quickly changed seats so that my back would be to him.

I mean, I AM a mature adult, so I don't have to leave a bar JUST because one of my ex-flings is there. I can handle it.

But it WAS awkward. I could feel his eyes burning holes into the back of my head.

THEN, the guy I had a date with a few days ago walked into the bar. The one who definitely has a girlfriend, but tried to play it off like he doesn't. (He totally tried to add me on facebook, and didn't even bother to hide the GF pictures or the relationship status. Nice. But no Thanks. I'm not playing that game.)

Ok. I can handle it. It's awkward, but I'm a big girl. So, I adjust my seat so that I'm not in direct view of either of the guys.

And, just when I'm thinking it can't possible get any more awkward...

In walks some more people that I have been avoiding... and ... basically there is no where I can sit to avoid them ALL at the same time. (Damn this is a popular bar!)

And then my Dive Instructor calls me to tell me that he's changing the dive schedule from Sunday to Saturday. Which is incredibly annoying. I'm sorta used to the last minute nature of Korea, but this is getting ridiculous. A few hours notice? And I've got to change around my other plans. Ugh.

So, I was already feeling awkward and weird and then... now I've got lots of things on my mind.

And. Then. The intense guy sits a few seats from me, and when I greet someone, he sarcastically says "hey, do you know my name?" I could hear the emotion in his voice. It was like "Hey, Do you remember me? Cause you broke my heart. Bitch."

And, I basically tried to smooth over the situation, and then avoid him. But, he followed me over to a group of friends. And, proceeded to have a very loud conversation with my friend about me. "Danielle used to ask me not to drink so much, but now I'll drink as much as I want." And some other really emotionally charged words. My friend later said "Danielle, that was the most awkward situation EVER."

I whispered to my friend "you know, I really want to just walk out right now." Then I thought to myself, "why not." So, I picked up my bag, bid farewell to the girls that I began the evening with, and walked out of the bar in the middle of intense man's rambling.

Most. Awkward. Night. In. Tongyeong.

I got home and promptly fell asleep, I did have to wake very early for diving. But, I was awoken by text messages and calls from the intense guy.

He called me several times. Actually, far more than several, because I lost count. (My phone doesn't keep track of multiple missed calls, so if you call me 10 times in a row, it only shows the last missed call... )

And he texted me several times.

Danielle please I need yo cuze just i miss you.

can i come just for stay only looking you

i know you are already sleep but I cant sleep without you... why you gone im not ok

please call me I need you

Then, I turned off my phone, so I don't know how many more times he called or texted.

But. When I got the text about "can I come" I thought it said "can I come up..." So, I got out of bed and looked into the parking lot. I can't be sure, but I think he was there.

Yeah. Awkward. And. Fucking weird.

He asked my friend to help him 'win' me back...

I called him and told him that this behavior is not acceptable. He blamed it all on the booze. But. I'm not buying it. I did tell him not to text or call me again, and that he shouldn't say anything more than 'hello' if we meet in person.

So, we'll see how that goes.

Also, for the record. His intensity is 100% emotional, so you don't have to worry for my safety. He watched a match at my gym where I took down a man who is 15cm/6in and 15kg/33lbs larger than me... so he's knows full well what I'm capable of. And, he knows I'm much stronger than he is (I have actually thrown him around). ... So, yeah. I'm not really worried, so you shouldn't be either. I've got a mean right cross, and he'll become well acquainted with it, should he try anything with me.

Seriously guys?

2011-07-01T07:58:00.003+09:00

I went on a date last night.

He used his phone to take a few photos. Then he showed them to me, I scrolled a bit too far and saw a photo of him with a girl. In a very... couple-y ... type pose.

I said "Oh. Um. Yeah. So, You have a girlfriend. hmm." (Which actually sorta surprised me. This guy seemed REALLY innocent and ... wholesome.)

He denied it for a bit, but it wasn't working on me. Finally, he settled on "She's there. I'm here. We'll be apart a minimum of 2 years. So, she's not my girlfriend anymore."

I said "Does she know that?"

*sigh*

This is the SECOND date in a month who has forgotten to delete (recent!) couple photos before letting me look at his phone photos.

Seriously guys? Where is your conscience? Why are you even asking me on a date if you've got a woman at home? How would you feel if she were doing the same thing to you? AND, if you "like me so much," don't you think I deserve to be the ONLY woman, not the OTHER woman?

Blah.

strangest

2011-06-30T12:43:00.000+09:00

Today, I'm feeling like having a little throw back blogging. You know. Tell you something I haven't blogged yet, but is totally worth mentioning. Today's topic... My strangest relationship in Korea.

I say relationship, but perhaps the better word is 'fling'.

Most of my flings don't make it past two weeks. This one was no different. From the first date to the last contact was ... 8 days.

Let's just have a run through of how this fling went down.

Day 1: We met for a night out. It was fun. Though he was drunk, he still offered to drive me home. Ehm. No. So, I drove his car to his home, and he escorted me to my home in the taxi. We said goodbye on the street. I thought he was a nice guy. (And I thoroughly enjoyed his chilvary!)

Day 2: He texted me :"I miss you, I want to see you." (I couldn't.)

Day 3: He invited me to visit his country. He introduced me to his friend, we went out for some Korean rice wine and onion pancakes. He actually said "Don't eat that, it's late, you'll get fat." =/ Tsk. Tsk. I had a talk about using the word "fat" towards me.

Day 4: While we were together, he called his mom and told her about me. He introduced me to his supervisor, and a few colleagues and friends.When we were in the car, he reached over and held my hand. He said "the first touch" and pulled my hand to his chest so I could feel his heart racing. He said "this is what you do to me."

Day 5: He invited me to visit his country again, but this time he offered to pay for my trip. He told me he had sent his mom and his sister my photo via email. They both thought I was beautiful, and his sister wanted to call me. Later, without prompting, he spoke to me in his native language. (I sorta love this!) I heard the same word several times. I asked him what it meant, he said "I'll tell you later."

Day 6: He texted me that the word he used several times meant "Stay with me forever." I told him those words have a very strong meaning in English. Later, he admitted that he had sent more than one photo to his family. When I exclaimed "WHY?!," he said "My family is important to me, and you are also important to me, so why wouldn't I."

Day 7: He admitted to having saved several (read:all) of my FB pictures to his hard drive. When pressured, he admitted that he sent over 100 pictures to his mother. He told me that he wanted to introduce me to his boss. He told his boss "Thank you for sending me on this project, because I found my life in Korea." He kissed me and said, "My life."..."It's amazing that I found my life in Korea. I'm from [European country] and you're from America, and we met in Korea. It's amazing." Then he said "I love you. You are my destiny." He was very intoxicated. But still.

Day 8: I sent him a message "You are very intense, and it scares me. I can't be your destiny, I'm too busy being my own destiny." He tried to back track, and apologize for his drunken words. I said "It's not just last night, it's everyday since we met. I think it's better if we end this now before you get too attached." He didn't take that news so well. Over the next 24 hours, there were several (50+) text messages, several calls from him and more from a mutual friend. My last text to him said "Listen, it's not going to happen. You have to let me go." He replied "Okay." And that was the last I heard from him.

Somewhere in there, he admitted that he was jealous of the fling that had ended a few weeks prior to our meeting. During one of our dates, I rejected several calls from my prior fling. And he was not so happy that prior fling was even calling me. He was also somewhat jealous that I was planning a photo shoot with a male friend/photographer. As if I'm not allowed to have men other than him in my life... please.

Interesting, eh? He got THAT attached, and never even got past first base. (I told him he would have to wait ... He said that he was content to just be with me and would wait until I was ready.)

So, yeah. Most interesting fling since my last serious relationship ended.

Itaewon motel

2011-06-29T23:49:00.001+09:00

This morning while I was making my bed, I had a flashback memory to a moment that I definitely forgot to blog about. And, since I'm the most consistently inconsistent person I know, I'm going to blog about it now.
.
When Lindsey and I went to Itaewon, we decided that we would get a motel, rather than trying to sort out a hostel. Several motels were booked, so we took the first one we found with a vacancy.

Now, Lindsey and I are pretty low-maintenance girls, we don't care about much. We just need a bed, a door with a lock, and a toilet. And that's pretty much what we got.

After checking in, we decide to have a nap before heading out to the bars. While we were trying to nap, there was a strange noise. I thought that it was just a faulty television or loud refrigerator.

But, when we returned to the motel in the wee hours of the morning, we found that the noise was actually mice. Yep. They quickly scurried under the bed, and resumed their strange scratching noise for the rest of the night.

It was really early in the morning, we were both really tired, and neither of us are afraid of mice. So. We went off to sleep.

When I opened my eyes in the morning, the first thing I saw was Lindsey staring at me. (We were on our sides, facing each other.) In the calmest, most matter-of-fact way she said "There are pubes.... in our bed." (FYI, 100% sure they weren't ours...)

I still crack up when I think about that moment. Her calm, emotionless words ... about something that other people would definitely be getting hysterical about.

Then. She continued "there is also blood... on the curtain."

And. So. We showered and checked out and made a mental note not to stay at that motel again.

I know my mom would be disgusted. But, me... nah. I've stayed in some pretty disgusting places, and that place does not even make it in the top 10. And there is no point in getting flustered over something that has already happened.

indiscretions

2011-06-28T10:56:00.026+09:00

I don't like that I'm beginning to be more pessimistic about potential romantic interests.

I like being the free-spirited girl with an optimistic perspective who believes the highest potential of everyone. I sorta hate that my experiences are affecting that.

I'm largely guided by my emotions, so I'm much happier when I'm following my heart and ignoring logic. But. Some of my experiences in the last two years have really been ... eye opening. And it's hard to ignore those trends.

I've dated a lot. WAY more than I ever mentioned in my blog. Because. Well. I just didn't have time, or it wasn't worth mentioning. (And I don't like it when you judge me. TT_TT )

I haven't dated a single ESL teacher. It just never happened. But, there have been some Koreans, a hand full of US Military, and then... you know... lots of other expats who speak English as a second language. In the beginning I was pretty anti-foreigner. I had Asian-fever BAD. But, as time went on, and I got tired of Korean style break-ups and petty childishness, I moved on to expats. And that has made for some very interesting moments.

[Oh come on. Don't judge. I have a weakness for man-sized men (read: BIGGER than me) who have delicious accents, and know how to appreciate a woman with curves. And I prefer to enjoy uncircumcised men. Unfortunately North America likes to mutilate her boys.]

Do you know how many men failed to mention that they weren't actually available when it was obvious that we were moving in a direction that wasn't strictly platonic?

There have been a few times when I've heard "hey, just a heads up, that guy [who is pursuing you] has a wife in his country." Sure, no lines were crossed... but, I still feel disappointed that they've even been entertaining such conversation if they aren't available.

Ok. I get it. You're married, not dead. And some harmless flirting makes you feel free again. But. I don't really like to be part of that.

Then. There was this guy that I was seeing for ten months. Yeah. I know. I only vaguely mentioned him in this blog because... honestly... I just wanted to keep it casual. It was amazing for a while and when it wasn't fun anymore, I ended it. Shortly thereafter, I ran into his Korean girlfriend... that he'd been seeing for a few months. Great.

There was a guy that I was seeing for about six weeks. Then, I noticed an inconsistency with details he had given. He was forced to admit that he had children in his country, and that he's not divorced from their mother. So. He's married, though he maintains that he is separated... but STILL.

(I do tend to ask upfront about these things, but unfortunately not everyone is as honest as I am.)

I see adultery all around me. People that are married to spouses that they hate, who sneak around with secret lovers. People who have secret lives. People with spouses in other countries, and girlfriends/lovers here. Friends who lost my respect when they admitted to their own ongoing/repetitive indiscretions.

I like to have fun as much as the next person. But, the difference is, that I don't get involved under the pretense of monogamy. If you don't intend to be true and committed, then it's really unfair to let your partner believe that you are.

I want to believe in pure, true, honest relationships, but it's really hard when their inverse is far more common.

betrayed

2011-06-27T10:55:00.001+09:00

I discovered a tiny discrepancy, which revealed a complicated web of lies and deceit. And even though those lies and deceptions didn't truly affect me, I still feel so betrayed.

This is going to be long. Sorry.

I'm getting everything in order for my impending departure. One of the things on my list-- is to visit my doctor. It's just easier if I take a sick day, so that I can travel between my home and the office without feeling so rushed. The perfect day was coming up: a day of no classes. BUT, I needed to ask permission to be excused from the other activities.

So, I went to the Vice Principal (with my Coteacher as a translator). After I asked for permission, the vice principal inquired about the details of the doctor. (No, there is no such thing as privacy in Korea, but that's another story altogether.) After hearing the details, he said "oh, [name redacted]'s son also works there." Then the VP asked the doctor's name, when I replied he said "oh. THAT is her son!" He approved my day off after making a big scene (basically emphasizing that "it's a small world"), and I went back to my desk.

I was a little surprised that my doctor had never mentioned that his mom was my colleague. I've known him for over a year, and I've spoken about my job on several occasions. You see, we don't have a strictly professional relationship. I met him as a friend first, and he volunteered his professional services when I was in need.

When we returned to our desks, my coteacher said "oh, I heard that her son was a doctor. He just got married last year, and he's got a baby on the way."

Then I thought "no. That can't be the same person. Because MY doctor had only recently ended a long term relationship with one of my other friends." I thought there must be some confusion. I mean, Korean names are ONLY three syllables long, so there are tons of people with the same name. We couldn't be talking about the same person, could we? So, I decided to call him.

When he picked up I said "Where does your mom work?" Without hesitation, he said "she is retired."

And. If you didn't know already, I am a very gullible, naive person. I tend to believe the best in people, and I rarely question anyone without reason. So, if you tell me something like "today is my birthday" and nothing indicates that it's untrue... I won't question you because... why would you lie about something like that?

So, I just assumed that there was some confusion.

I said "There is some lady at my school who said she is your mother. It's so weird."

Then came the suspicious pause. And the stumble... "umm, well, hmmm, uuhhh, whatt?"

Oh man. Really? I was really holding out hope that this was some misunderstanding, because I have really grown to like this guy. He has been a genuine, kind, fantastic friend over the last year.

So, I said "You know that I work at XYZ school. I've mentioned it a few times. Why didn't you mention that your mom worked here?"

He said "Well, she changes school so often, I can't remember where she works."

"Ok. Fair enough. BUT, you said that she is retired."

"Well, I like to keep my family life and my friend life separate."

"Ok. That's fine... She also said that you are married."
[no answer]
"She said that you are married. Are you married?"
[uh. whhaaa? huh?]
"[name redacted] ARE YOU MARRIED?"
[uh. uh. uh. uh]
"[name redacted] Tell me the truth. Are you married?"

In the smallest voice possible, he said "yeah."

My mind was racing to try to figure out how this is possible. How is it that my friend of over a year has a secret, separate life? How is it that he has been able to hide a marriage, while maintaining an active relationship with my friend? I mean. I thought I knew him pretty well... so, how could this happen? How did I miss this?

After an extremely awkward pause, I said "well. okay. I guess I'll see you next week for my appointment. Bye." and I hung up.

[You see, I DO need to see a doctor. And even if he is an immoral friend, he is a good doctor. AND, I've already asked for the day off, and there was quite the scene about when and which doctor I'll be seeing. And. If I canceled, It would probably be a bit awkward explaining WHY if his mom or the VP mentioned it.]

Then. I sat at my desk replaying our entire friendship in my mind, looking for any discrepancy that I might have overlooked. Nothing. He was absolutely thorough.

So. As it turns out, his wife is doing her residency in another city. The same city that he visits 2-3 weekends a month for 'conferences' or to moonlight at a 'second job.' He had mentioned that he stayed with his (biological) sister in that city. But, as it turns out, he doesn't actually have a sister at all. The woman that he stays with, is his wife.

And. They are going to have a baby soon.

As they say, hindsight is 20/20. So, I started putting the puzzle together.

His mother is really kind to me. She has invited me to her home several times to meet her son, because we both have the same hobby- scuba diving. But, each time our plans have fallen through. She has given me rides, given me gifts, offered me advice, and treated me so well. I really like this woman, but there is a language barrier that limits our communication.

Last year, she invited me to her son's wedding. But, I couldn't make it.

Little did I know, that shortly after that wedding, I would be introduced to her son... though under very different circumstances... introduced by my friend, as her new boyfriend.

And. He was a damn good boyfriend too. Homemade cards. Notes. Calls. Regular dates. Gifts. Meeting her parents. Holidays together. Trips together. Meeting the friends (his and hers).

I know. It's really shocking. I expect some bad behavior from the men who act like bad guys. But. The guys like this, the guys that seem like a good guy from the start and never waiver from that facade... It's hard for me to wrap my head around it.

How did he have the energy to keep up with all that? All the details. All the effort.
How is it that he managed to keep everything separate with a, seemingly, clear conscious?
How is it that no one suspected anything for a year?

My friend recently ended the relationship with this man because she learned that there was no future for the two of them. She wanted marriage potential, and though he had maintained that "anything can happen," he eventually admitted that there was no marriage potential with her, because she was not Korean.

Little did we know then, that there was actually no marriage potential with her, because he was already married.

He didn't cheat on me. But I still feel so betrayed. I guess because this news just makes me lose a little more hope and faith in the possibility of pure, genuine, true, honest relationships.

I still want to believe in the highest potential of every person, I just wish they'd stop wasting that potential.

[I am absolutely NOT going to mention this to my friend, because WHAT purpose would that serve? And, I hope no one else tells her either. Nothing positive could possibly come from knowing this news. Trust me. I've been in those shoes.]

remember

2011-06-23T07:51:00.000+09:00

Remember to always see everything as it is, not as what you want it to be. Enjoy life and remember that you can always change it, and it can change on you. Treat yourself with love and respect, and keep in mind that every day you aren't trying to be a happy person is a day that you'll never get back again.

on foreignness

2011-06-22T16:21:00.000+09:00

I know I've mentioned before that there are TONS and TONS of foreigners in Tongyeong. At first glance, it seems to be just a few. But. If you're here long enough, you'll see just how many foreigners really live here. There are quite a few shipyards in Tongyeong. Each shipyard employs a hefty amount of foreigners.

I feel like there are 3 main types of foreigners in Tongyeong. The ESL teachers who really stick out. You know... pale native English speakers like yours truly. Most of us came here for the experience, the adventure. Then there are the professionals who work for the local shipyards. They usually come here to work on high paying projects. (Did one of my friends really let it slip that he makes 6 times my salary?... oh my.). They tend to be work-a-holics, but some of them like to get out and have a good time too. Then, there are the workers who come here out of necessity. Their salary, although smaller than the ESL gig, is exponentially more than they can make in their native countries. They work like slaves and aren't treated much better, not at their work, and not in the community.

Spending time with my friends who fall in the last category of foreigners has given me a whole new insight into Korean culture. You know all that "I love you because you're a beautiful white American" positive attention? Yeah. Spend a few hours with someone who isn't an elite minority, and you'll really feel a different kind of attention. It's really sad.

where to next?

2011-06-21T21:42:00.000+09:00

At the moment, I'm not sure where I'm going to live after I finish my post-Korea travels. And, it seems that, some of my friends have it all figured out: I should just go live near/with them. Now. I am really, really grateful that I've got such amazing friends. BUT... most of these suggestions are just not realistic because (1) it's too far from the ocean, or (2) it's nearly impossible for me to navigate the immigration process, or (3) some other factor makes that location/country unappealing to me.

One of my friends sent me a photo with a simple suggestion... you could be happy here.

And maybe I could be happy there. But. I'm not even entertaining any ideas that would take me so far from the ocean at the moment.

I replied....

It is so beautiful. And I'm sure that many people would love to live there.

But, I don't know if I can find the words to really convey just how much I'm in love with the ocean. Asking me to live far from the ocean, would be akin to asking me to leave my heart outside of my body.

I don't think diving is everything. I do other things too. But, the ocean breeze, the sound of the crashing waves, water splashing at your feet. These things make my heart SO HAPPY. I just feel like it's where my home is.

And diving is more than a hobby to me, it's a passion. I really feel at peace when I'm underwater. I think I could compare it to praying or meditating. I'm alone, silent, with my thoughts and... for 30~60 minutes there is nothing between me and my love. And that is something I'm just not interested in giving up.

So, where is the next place I'll call home? I don't know yet. But, I'd put my money on it being really close to the ocean. ;)

run the world

2011-06-20T11:55:00.000+09:00

*I love her.*

a new record

2011-06-18T03:36:00.004+09:00

Tonight, a new record-- a marriage proposal within 6 hours of meeting.*

I think he was fairly serious, too.

The previous record was 3 days. I'm not talking about the "wow, you're sweet. Let's get married." joking comments. I'm talking more... "he's falling hard, and he's SO smitten that he is not really considering the gravity of the words coming out of his mouth."

He obviously doesn't know that I'm absolutely terrified of commitment.

Silly man. But. Sweet.

*I feel like I need to clarify that this man is a professional from the developed world. He's not a 3rd world man who is looking for his golden ticket.

making curry

2011-06-16T09:30:00.004+09:00

On Buddha's birthday, while at the local temple, I met Raju. Raju is from Nepal, which is the birth place of Buddha. We ended up chatting about travels and cultures, and became fast friends.

A discussion about our favorite cuisines (mine is Indian), lead to a promise that Raju would teach me how to make some North Indian/Nepalese food. (Raju's hometown is really close to India, and the cuisine is pretty similar.)

I'm still waiting for my friends to teach me how to make my favorite South Indian dishes... (*hint, hint*)

We made a Dal (lentil) curry, stir fried vegetables (potatoes, onions and collard greens) and basmati rice. It was so AWESOME. Absolutely delicious.

[12/June~ My first homemade Curry]

Yum. Yum.

Liz thought it was tasty, too.

Now I don't have to spend an hour (or more) traveling to the nearest Indian restaurants when I'm craving something tasty.

After seeing how easy it is to make some this curry, I'm sorta feeling motivated to try some other recipes online. Soon. Maybe.

laid back day

2011-06-15T16:05:00.000+09:00

Saturday was... a laid back kind of day. You know, meet some friends at the cafe and chat for a while, then go to another cafe for BingSu (shaved ice), then to the park, to the temple, then dinner. It was such a nice change of pace. I'm usually go-go-go, and it's nice to just sit back and not have an agenda for a whole day.

On the way to the park, I passed the Korean advertisement girls again. They, like so many other uniquely Korean things, have become a common sight and no longer spark any excitement for me. But. I figured it was high time that I got up and danced with them myself. I don't know if the people standing at the nearby bus stop really enjoyed my performance, but I sure did.

(If you aren't aware... these ladies stand in front of stores advertising sales. They dance, and sing and basically act like cheerleaders for the business.)

[11/June~Shakin' my money maker]

I love this path to the temple.

Sara and I at the Golden Buddha temple.

pick and mix cereal

2011-06-14T15:41:00.000+09:00

Do you like fruity cereal? Maybe you really like that fruity cereal, but you aren't a fan of one of the colors/flavors in it?

Well. Now you can choose. You want extra green ones and no purple ones? Totally possible. In Korea.

The Lotte Mart in my city is now selling pick-and-mix cereal. You decide what colors you want, and how much of each and they'll blend it and package it for you.

Pretty sweet. And 4,000Won for 500 grams is similar to pre-packaged boxes.

Pretty Awesome.

Chocolate hair glaze

2011-06-13T11:47:00.006+09:00

I'm trying, really trying to let my hair get back to natural. I know I said I wouldn't. I do like darker colors on me, BUT I hate the maintenance. If you've learned anything about me in all this time-- it's that I'm REALLY low maintenance. So. Yeah.

And. Korean salons have given me my fair share of surprises. Like the last time I asked for auburn, and came home with black hair.

As it is, I haven't dyed my hair in nearly a year. With frequent washing and sun bleaching, my hair has faded out to a much lighter color. But, you can definitely see the difference between my natural roots and processed ends.

Case. in. point.

I don't have access to a salon that would be able to match my roots. And. I'm really not feeling like having another Korean salon surprise. So. I decided to try a natural-at-home option.

1/June~Before

I read a ton of ways to lighten your hair without chemicals, but only a few to darken your hair. One was a chocolate hair glaze. It calls for equal parts unsweetened cocoa and shampoo.

The mix looks a lot like brownie batter, but probably not so tasty.^^

When I started putting it on my hair, it was really sticky and hard to manage. So, I had to add some water so that I could thoroughly coat all of my hair.

It smelled divine!

I left it in my hair for about 10 minutes, then rinsed and conditioned as normal. The change in color was really subtle, not really much difference. BUT, the change in the condition was amazing. My hair smelled so divine, and felt so healthy. It was the softest, shiniest I've ever seen my hair.

After~

I've read about some soy sauce hair glazes, and some other options that I might try. But, for now. Two-toned it is.

a glimpse into my scuba

2011-06-10T11:00:00.002+09:00

These photos were stolen from my dive shop.

If I'm on the boat... there is a good chance you'll find me... resting. ;)

This is one of my favorite instructors, Sehoon. He is hilarious.

I sorta love this photo.

Post-dive bliss.

I've mentioned before that my nickname with my dive shop is 물범 seal. Dive one day with me and you'll know why. I ALWAYS rest before, between and after dives. Literally-- I'm diving, eating, or resting.

They asked me to demonstrate my nickname ... and this is the result. Enjoy.

Reluctantly climbing a mountain between dives.

Yes. I did nap on a mountain. ;)

Our dive group.(I'm on the right with SeHoon.)

This has to be my favorite picture. I'm concentrating on filling out a diver accountability form with my personal information-- in case of an emergency (we do this every trip).

hunters

2011-06-09T13:05:00.002+09:00

The thing I hate MOST about diving with Koreans... is that a lot of them are hunters.

My very first boat dive in Korea, I spent most of the dive rescuing and releasing octopus* from fishing nets. I recall my fellow divers being disappointed that I hadn't fallen in line with killing and eating them. And no amount of discussion about the ecology of the environment and my desire to preserve it made any impact on their argument. I don't know if it's indifference or ignorance, but I feel like they believe that every animal on this planet is meant to be eaten, without regard for how that affects anything EXCEPT their dinner plate. And unfortunately, I feel like that's the mindset of the majority of the world. I just want to shake it up and say "You. are. not. the. center. of. this. universe. There ARE consequences to your actions."

We usually dive independently with our buddies, or in small groups. So. Thankfully I never have to witness the spear fishing. But. Sometimes when I'm looking for a drink, I still find the spoils of their quest. And this, my dears, is why I now bring my own snacks and drink onto the boat.

[5/June]

And. The next generation is already falling in line. But thankfully, they are still impressionable enough that I was able to convince them to release their catch.

*I don't like the plural version of this word, so I'm just going to stick to the incorrect singular version. Octopuses sounds dirty. Octopodes and Octopi don't sound much better. So, yeah.

beach

2011-06-08T09:29:00.000+09:00

Scuba was canceled. Again. It's so disappointing. Really.

Rainy season makes for some terrible conditions and the water temperature is still quite chilly, so there haven't been enough divers to justify renting a boat. =/

But, If my choice is between staying dry and diving in Korean conditions-- I want to get in the water. I love the feeling of weightlessness. And I crave the silent time to ponder those big questions that plaque me.

Hmmmph.

But. I suppose it's not the end of the world if I can't dive EVERY weekend. ;)

Instead, I went with Sara to a beach party at Gujora Beach in Geoje Island. Here is Sara's blog about our day at Gujora Beach.

On the way to the beach, Sara and I needed to grab some lunch. BUT... the lack of vegan options meant that I had to compromise with... pizza. Korean pizza is seriously weird. And. Really not all that great.

[4/June]

This pizza is two crusts with a filling of mashed sweet potato, sun-dried tomato, corn, and some mystery white sauce. The pizza is topped with cheese and pineapple. Weird. So. Weird.

For about the first hour we were at the beach, Sara and I just sat back and watched as our friends struggled to put up a tent. It was really entertaining to see all these different characters trying to work together to figure it out.

[How many foreigners does it take to put up a Korean tent?]

It was really a fantastic day at the beach. I love to lounge with my feet in the sand. If I lay around anywhere else, I feel lazy. But laying around at the beach is definitely not lazy. ;)

[Sara and I ... relaxing]

After I left the beach, I met my friend Leo who lives in Geoje. (He's an engineer from Brazil.) When he told me he would pick me up at the bus terminal, I assumed that he meant we'd take a taxi. I was a little surprised when he pulled up on his new motorcycle. My first reaction was "I am definitely NOT getting on a motorcycle in Korean traffic." I think it took him about 10 minutes to convince me that it was alright.... and of course, everything was alright. But those first few minutes were ... slightly terrifying. ;)

(I don't know if there are helmet laws in Korea, but it's quite common to see people on motorbikes with hardhats, buckets, helmets with no straps... yeah. I guess it's the thought that counts, though I'm sure they'd be singing another tune if they got in an accident.)

Vega

2011-06-07T11:05:00.000+09:00

A few months ago, I started a new workout routine (in addition to my normal routine)*. I was determined to stick to it. And I was going to follow it as closely as I could, including the diet portion.

Since the routine was meant for omnivores, it called for a great deal of protein. Now, going omni is absolutely out of the question, so I decided to supplement my diet with some protein powder.

(Don't give me a lecture about protein propaganda here, please. I already know... but I figured it was worth a try anyways.)

One of my friends suggested, Vega... and I decided to give it a try. It's a 100% plant based nutritional supplement. It has 100% of the recommended daily intake of vitamins and minerals.

I have tried other protein powders in the past (both plant based, and dairy based), and found that they were quite disgusting. Smelly, unappetizing, chalky and gross. It didn't matter what I mixed it with, it always tasted terrible.

But. Vega is different. It. is. so. delicious. I tried the Vanilla Chai. No aftertaste. No chalky, strange taste. No medicine smell. It's awesome.

When I first opened the lid, I took one look at this green powder and thought "oh. This might be interesting." But, after one sip, I was hooked.

350ml plain Soymilk + 1 tsp cinnamon + 1 scoop of Vega = So. so Yummy. It became my evening snack, after finishing at the gym.

So yeah. Vega. Totally recommend this tasty supplement. ;)

(*Of course I ended up quitting said routine after a few weeks, because I was exhausted all the time. 1hour every morning plus my regular 2-3hours in the evenings is just ... too much. But, hey.. I tried.)

heart

2011-06-06T22:25:00.000+09:00

Some of my students are absolute brats. I suppose that comes with the territory. You can't teach 900 teenage girls, and expect them all to be perfect angels everyday.

I have my classes that give me so much trouble. But, I also have some classes that I absolutely adore.

And Thankfully that feeling is mutual. <3

[2/June]

I love coming back to my desk to find sweet notes, cards and gifts from my students. It really warms my heart.

Korean Sports Day

2011-06-03T16:21:00.001+09:00

So. Every year we have a sports day. They have the typical competitions... tug-o-war and dodge ball.

Sports Day Tug-o-war from Danielle on Vimeo.

But. There is also a talent portion... comic skits, singing, gymnastic, martial arts... and dancing. There is ALWAYS dancing.

I generally prefer to 'opt out' of these events when it gets to this point, because I don't really think it is appropriate for my students to be dancing like that... especially at school events. But. I'm sure students that age in the states are probably doing the same thing. I'm obviously getting old.

Sports Day Dancing from Danielle on Vimeo.

Here's to new experiences

2011-05-31T09:45:00.002+09:00

In keeping with tradition, here is my birthday list of new experiences for the next year of my life...

I only completed 9 out of 25 from last year. =]

The things I didn't complete are still on the list. And the new ones are italicized.

[It's unlikely that I'll get around to 5 and 10 since I'm 30 months sober and have no plans to start drinking again... but I'm keeping them on here for now...]

1. Move to a new country
2. Go Skydiving
3. Complete a language course and take a proficiency test.
4. Join the Mile High Club
5. Do a Keg Stand
6. Bungee Jump
7. Go West of Texas, USA
8. Fly a plane
9. Spend the night on the beach. (Not in a hotel)
10. Hookup with a Chick
11. Try a new winter sport (snowmobiling/ice hockey/etc)
12. Try a new air sport (hang gliding/para gliding/etc)
13. Scuba dive with sharks.
14. Volunteer for an extended time.
15. Experience a temple stay.
16. Be a couchsurfer (I've already been a host)
17. See an eclipse
18. Ride in a Helicopter
19. Face my fear. Do something that absolutely terrifies me.
20. Join a race (5k?10k?half marathon?)
21. Photocopy my butt on a photocopier
22. Try Zorbing (aka, be a human hamster)
23. Successfully Vegan-ize one of my favorite recipes.
24. Take a cruise
25. Take a piano lesson

the slap

2011-05-30T23:31:00.000+09:00

I forgot to mention...

While Lindsey and I were hanging out in Itaewon, we went into a bar that Lindsey eventually dubbed "the lion's den." Literally, it was us, and about 20 other men who were "circling around their prey."

I didn't mind so much, because I believe most people are good. And, I think I can totally handle myself. But, she's not a fan of those kind of situations.

After dancing with another expat, I returned to our table to find that Lindsey had been fighting off men while I was dancing. Men who wanted to dance, men who wanted to buy her a drink, men who wanted to pick her up. I don't know. But, she was really uncomfortable, so we decided to leave.

As we were getting ready to leave, the Korean men at the table next to us asked us to join them. We politely declined and walked towards the exit.

As we walked out the exit, one of the men followed us. He walked around and stood in front of me. He asked us to go back in the bar and join him. We declined. Again.

As I started to walk away. He grabbed my wrist and jerked me back to him. Telling me to stay with him.

I paused. Looked at him, and at his hand. And then I smacked his hand so hard that he released my wrist and his hand fell to his side.

His expression was priceless. He was definitely shocked.

Then I calmly continued walking down the street. Half way down the block, Lindsey caught up to me. "That was fucking awesome."

Then the gravity of the entire situation really caught up to me. "That was pretty awesome, wasn't it?"

That man had no idea what he was doing when he put his hand on me.

Some of my friends said "I'm surprised you didn't punch him" ... but honestly, I'm not a fan of violence. I didn't think his actions warranted violence. Just a firm smack to let him know that his actions were not appropriate. Smacking his hand out of the cookie jar, if you will.

I don't think he'll make that mistake again.

For the rest of the night, Lindsey would find the most random moment to bring it back up.
"This bar is lame. But you know what isn't lame...."
"That guy's outfit is awesome... You know what else is awesome... "

Great Birthday. with Amazing Friends. making Fantastic memories.

Birthday

2011-05-30T19:28:00.001+09:00

I was meant to be scuba diving for my birthday, but then I learned that it was the weekend for the Korea Queer Culture Festival. I missed this festival last year, and I really didn't want to miss it this year. When I mentioned the festival to my friends, I was genuinely shocked by how many homophobic remarks I heard in response. "I'd love to spend the weekend with you, but I don't really want to hang out with a bunch of gays." or "Gays aren't really my thing."

My reply? ... "Homophobic people aren't really my thing."
:o
Oh My. Really? Are people really still so closed minded in this day and age? tsk tsk.

So, I did go up to Seoul. I spent Friday night in Hongdae... dancing and generally being that great friend that you can count on to help you get back to the hostel at 6am when you can barely walk. *ahem* no names *mmhmm*

Also. I absolutely recommend Come Inn Hostel in Hongdae. It is literally 1 block from Club Cocoon. Really clean, nice facilities, and cool staff.

Then, Saturday, Lindsey and I went to the event...

[28/May ~ This is what 4 hours of sleep looks like on us.]

We had a lot of fun. But, I didn't take any pictures because I didn't get a press pass, and a lot of the people at the event aren't out. You know, Korea isn't so gay friendly... so a lot of them stay in the closet. =/

I ended the night on Homo Hill in Itaewon... having a fantastic time.
There is a little evidence of how crazy things got... try not to judge... ;)

(For the record... my birthday kiss was a peck from my super-gay-super-hot friend =] )

my week in photos

2011-05-28T14:20:00.000+09:00

[24/May ~ I went to a rooftop BBQ with Sara and Liz]

[I learned how to Samba!]

[Marcelo, Me, Newton]

[26/May - Birthday celebrations with my friend SeungAe]

[Playing Princess with JiYong(boy) and JiMin(girl)]

[I love these kids!]

massage

2011-05-28T11:26:00.012+09:00

I might be taking this procrastination thing a bit too far. I neglect far too many things, including my blog... in favor of other things... like ... umm.... Well, I'm sure there must be a good reason.

I went to Busan. I saw some things. I met some friends. I ate some delicious stuff. I took some photos. That's all.

[22/May ~ Costco churros. YUM!]

[Fashionable shorts or bathroom mat? You decide.]

[yeah...]

[umm...]

I nearly bought these shoes because they are so completely fantastical.

But, I decided to spend my cash on a massage instead.

I took my friend to Busan station (aka, the shady part of Busan) to get a massage. We found a place that would give us a 70 minute massage for 30,000KRW. BUT, it was going to be a couple massage... in the same room. I'm not so shy... well, actually not at all. So, I didn't mind stripping down in public, but my friend was a little embarrassed. "Where is the towel to cover yourself?"

Did I mention this place was seriously classy? I'm pretty sure this massage place is the kind of shady place that gives happy endings...

There were two tables in a room where the masseuse also lived. I was getting a massage about two feet from the bunk bed that she shared with another masseuse. Nice.

So, I got naked, and sat on the table. Who needs a towel? The masseuse came in to wash my feet before I laid down. She looked up and immediately started telling me that I was beautiful. She made some comments like "The men must really like you." Which is something I really need to hear sometimes.

We had the normal back massage, which was followed with ... the front massage. Remember, there is no towel. So, I'm nude. On a table. ;)

While she was massaging my neck and shoulders, she just casually reached down and fondled my right breast. Seriously.

I'm pretty comfortable with my body, so I just smiled and asked my friend "Did you see that? She totally just touched my boob."

My friend looked over in time to catch the lady touching my boob again. All the while, the masseuse is telling me that she likes them. Then, my friend's masseuse pauses her massage to come to my table and give my right boob a squeeze.

It was all very interesting. After the massage I told my friend "I like my boobs, but I want to know why she likes them. I want to see her boobs, so I can compare. And I want to know why they only touched my right boob... is there something wrong with my leftie?" Obviously there was a language barrier, or I definitely would have asked...

It was really a crappy massage. But, definitely an entertaining experience.

sharks

2011-05-27T15:52:00.001+09:00

When I mention that I'm a scuba diver to non-divers, they almost always bring up the subject of sharks. It makes me a little sad to see how uninformed and ignorant people really are about what lies beneath the surface of our ocean. (I'm not claiming that I'm an expert, I know that I have much to learn.)

It's funny to me, because while we are having a conversation about sharks, we're on totally opposite ends of the spectrum. They are so terrified of sharks they won't even get into water too deep to stand in, and here I am dreaming about diving with schools of hammerheads. (Which is a rather dangerous dive, not because of the sharks, but because of the conditions where the sharks live-- choppy surface conditions, strong currents, depths beyond 30m/100ft below the surface.)

In nearly 100 dives, I've only ever seen a few small sharks from a distance....they aren't nearly as common as you think. For the most part, you have to actually go out looking for them. And I will. Because sharks are beautiful, graceful, magnificent creatures. I respect them, I do not fear them... I'm far more afraid of people.

The Fin Trail from Eyewitness Productions / Elasmo on Vimeo.

Have you ever really stopped to consider how your lifestyle affects our earth? Have you considered what the consequences would be, if everyone on the planet lived as you do? Just some food for thought....

Costco

2011-05-27T14:10:00.020+09:00

Last weekend, I went shopping at Costco. Costco has a lot of western things that aren't easily found in most cities. Western cereals, candies, cakes, pies, spices, breads... So many aisles filled with delicious goodness. And other useful inedible things, too

I'm already in de-clutter mode, as I'm leaving Korea in 10 weeks. So, I didn't buy much. But I did thoroughly enjoy the churros at the concession counter. Yum.

My favorite part about Costco, is that they differentiated between "US size" and "Asian size."

[22/May]

So, now when someone mentions my weight, I'm just going to retort "I'm not fat, I'm US size." Thank you Costco!

Happy Room

2011-05-26T11:32:00.003+09:00

21/May ~ Do you really want to know what goes on in this room?

Well... if I knew, I would surely tell you. Unfortunately, the door was locked.

(found at the D-Cube CGV cinema, Gohyeon city, Geoje Island, S.Korea.)

fashionista

2011-05-25T12:18:00.001+09:00

Oh, Korean fashion. You know you like it.

Late Bloomer

2011-05-23T00:10:00.001+09:00

Gotta share it~

quitting

2011-05-22T20:52:00.011+09:00

I'm thinking about quitting my gym.

I know, I know. You're going to say "But you LOVE your gym." And that's true. I do love my sport. And I do enjoy having an instructor who holds me accountable and pushes me. I enjoy the challenge that comes with participating in a male dominated sport. And I thoroughly enjoy proving that ~~women~~ I can do ~~everything~~ most of the things that my male counterparts can do (I can't do the pull-ups).

But. There are things that I could do without.

For one, my gym is the number one place where I hear comments about my weight. Gained a little? You can bet your ass that they're going to notice, and they're going to mention it. It's so annoying.

There is another foreign woman at my gym, though she is in a different class. She also happens to be vegetarian. Do you know how many times I've been compared to her? "She's a vegetarian and she's so thin, how can you be so fat if you don't eat any meat?" ::eye roll:: I'm half tempted to say "Why aren't you as tall as he is? How can you be so short?"

In the last year, since I've been at my gym, I've gained about 6kg (13lb). So, since I've been in Korea, I've gained a total of about 13kg (28lb). Yep. Guilty. But I still wear the same size today that I wore then... how is that possible? I have gained a huge amount of muscle mass. Like. a lot. The guys at my gym both envy and fear my legs....You know what? I'm just going to show you...

(I don't think these pictures really show how solid my legs are...but you get the idea.)

Sometimes my Master forgets that I'm different from my classmates. He'll yell about something that really comes down to culture differences or language barriers. And, I don't particularly enjoy being belittled.

Sometimes he punishes me for... silly things. Friday, I was the only one who showed up for class... so I was punished with drills. I had to do boxing footwork drills for 30 minutes straight. Do you have an idea how much work that is!? And the only muscle that is working is my calves. The same muscle he just told me is too big (for a woman).

Sometimes he threatens to take away my current belt if I can't do something. Lately, it's because I can't walk on my hands. Yep. This is apparently something I need to be able to do before I can earn my black belt. Oh, and I need to be able to break a bat with my shin. Yeah. I don't know about that one.

I don't know. On one hand, I feel like it's becoming a chore. But on the other hand, I really only have about 10 weeks left to learn a sport that I enjoy from a man who is a national champion.

Decisions, decisions...

exploration

2011-05-21T00:07:00.002+09:00

My scuba weekend was canceled because the water was still quite cold so I took a trip to JiShimDo with Sara. JiShimDo is one of the 8 scenic places in Geoje, and I've been meaning to go since last year. It's actually really nice. It's not as commercialized as Oedo (the Botanical Garden Island of Geoje).

[14/May]

A video Sara made of our day~

After a few hours of rural exploration at JiShimDo, we went back to Okpo (a city on Geoje) for some urban exploration.

[This thing looks totally legit.]

There is an abandoned theme park in Okpo. A few accidental deaths forced the theme park to close their doors. I think this place is popular with foreigners because I've heard a lot about it.

hmm ...

Immaturity is universal.

Come play with me?

No comment.

The ride that shut it all down.

Where is the rest of the duck?

Free the ponies!

Poor, poor pony~

Ticket please!

Korean toilet

2011-05-20T11:59:00.001+09:00

14/May~ Welcome to my life.

A very unusual toilet in Jangseungpo, Geoje, South Korea.

Squat toilets are fairly common, but tiny squat toilets are not.

There is no toilet paper or soap in most public restrooms, so you should keep some tissues and hand sanitizer in your bag.

This bathroom didn't even have a sink... Which is not all that uncommon in older buildings.

I am 5'4" or 64in or 163cm.

Happy Birthday Buddha

2011-05-20T00:57:00.002+09:00

May 10th is Buddha's Birthday--a public holiday in Korea. The weather wasn't so great, but Sara and I decided to go to the local temple anyways. As soon as we entered the temple grounds we were greeted by a little old lady who insisted that we go into the cafeteria for BiBimBap (rice and vegetables). It was pretty awesome, because we hadn't had lunch yet. Then we met another old lady who insisted on feeding us rice cakes. The lady literally picked up some chewy tasteless blob and shoved it in our mouths. Sara and I both looked at each other and giggled. Can you imagine? These kinds of things could never happen in the states.

Afterwards we met some other expatriates from Nepal, who had come to the temple to celebrate. (Buddha was born in Nepal.) One of the expats was a former English teacher in Nepal (who spoke impeccable English!) but came to Korea for higher salaries in shipbuilding. I really love meeting random people and hearing their stories. I think Sara is starting to believe that I am actually a social butterfly, because we've met loads of random expats together, and I always end up chatting them up.

10/May ~ Happy Birthday Buddha

Dongpirang

2011-05-19T23:55:00.003+09:00

7/May~ Love this new mobile cafe I found in Dongpirang.

Imagine my surprise when I found my name written on a wall in Dongpirang... hmm

(다니엘=Danielle)

[This is what happiness looks like on me~]

sharks

2011-05-19T00:53:00.000+09:00

7/May ~ The restaurant near my house is now serving baby sharks. TT_TT

ajumma style

2011-05-18T00:46:00.000+09:00

5/May ~ I don't know about you, but Sara and I can rock Ajumma (old lady) hats with the best of them.

mid-day nap

2011-05-17T00:39:00.004+09:00

Sometimes, life is so exhausting, that we just need to pause and have a mid-day nap...

...on the steps at the grocery store.

Bus

2011-05-16T00:26:00.000+09:00

4/May ~ Sometimes I encounter some very strange things in Korea.

Dentist

2011-05-15T09:05:00.001+09:00

Dude. I love my dentist.

Ok. I should preface that by saying that he was my friend before he was my dentist. But still, he's probably the best dentist I've ever had.

I needed to have an amalgam (silver) filling replaced with composite resin (white). I was feeling pretty nervous, because I don't like the sound of the drill. He noticed that I was uneasy, so he decided to delay my appointment by a few hours. He took me to lunch then we spent the afternoon riding go-karts and visiting the beach. It was awesome.

I'm going to miss my dentist when I leave Korea!

[2/May]

He did actually insist that I wear a surgical mask to protect myself from dirt, fumes and yellow dust.

The entire time I was driving, he was screaming and giggling. I didn't find out until later that it was hist first time in a go-kart.

When we parked the go-kart at the beach, he insisted on placing a rock under the tire. Because "it could roll away." I didn't have the heart to tell him that his pebble wouldn't stop anything.

We hung out a the beach for a while. We watched a group of 10 old ladies pile out of a small van and begin collecting seaweed.

It was a pretty awesome day-- even if I did have to get a filling.

April Leftovers

2011-05-13T15:39:00.002+09:00

How did I forget to post this? Oops.

I went to a fish festival in Busan. You can read Sara's blog about it here and you can read Khadijah's blog about here.

[23/April ~ Rockin a fish hat]

[I'm a warrior, yo~]

[I got to see my bestie again~Linds .]

[And we had some fun playing on a teeter-totter]

[And we were on Korean tv~]

[The anchor was really friendly to all the foreign ladies.]

[I met my friend, SangSu]

[Candace, Gift, Khadijah, Me, Sara, Susan]

Then we went to Haeundae, where we met a group of Brazilians who attempted to teach us how to Sambo.

[Hadano tried to teach me Sambo, and I tried to teach him some English~]

[24/April ~ This is my "ooooh Pancakes" face.]

[And I got circle lenses (color contacts)]

(I think they make me look like a zombie/vampire... creepy)

Moving on

2011-05-12T20:56:00.000+09:00

Ok... Moving on...

I went scuba diving this weekend for the first time this season (in Korea). I can't tell you how good it felt to get back in the water. Even if that water was only 15C/60F... yep. It was pretty dang cold.

I got out of the taxi at my dive shop, and I heard the instructors saying "Denyurl is here!" It was such an awesome welcome home. After being greeted with hugs by the other divers and instructors, my "mom" came running out of the kitchen and scooped me up in her arms. "Denyurl, long time no see."

My dive shop is really like my family. So, It's going to be so hard to leave them. I have less than 16 weeks to make as many memories as I can with my scuba family, before it's time for me to move on.

16 weeks. That hardly seems like enough time to make a lifetime of memories.

But I have to go. It's my time. I need new adventures, and I have other places to experience.

I can see that this summer is really going to make me reconsider my decision to leave.

So, if I start wavering... "maybe I should stay in Korea for another year" ... please remind me...

Scuba sucks in Korea (comparatively). If Scuba in Philippines is "into the blue," then scuba in Korea is "into the gray."

Scuba season is so short in Korea. If I'm lucky, I can COMFORTABLY dive about 6 months a year.

Scuba practices in Korea are questionable at times. I've seen a whole lot of unsafe practices by divers and instructors in Korea.

Beyond scuba, life in Korea is just too comfortable. I need some excitement, I need some adventure.